Reflecting who you are in your everyday wear is important to be able to be comfortable in your own skin. This means everything you put on says something about you. For those that are married one of the things we wear on a daily bases is a wedding ring or wedding set. I recently went from a “traditional” wedding set to a wide diamond band. It really is more of my style and for once my husband and I both love the ring I am wearing. I have been asked a number of times why and usually my response is why not?
With today’s technology we literally have information at our fingertips. So, I am actually surprised at how many women actually know the history of the Diamond engagement ring. You know the saying “You can’t throw a stone without hitting someone within a one mile radius that knows (fill in blank)” Well, for this particular topic I would have get one of those shirt launchers that you see at sporting events and hope I can find two women that know even a little bit.
Did you know that the first record of a diamond engagement ring was in 1477? It was not a solitaire either. Archduke Maximilian of Austria proposed to Mary of Burgundy with a ring set with flat diamonds in the shape of an “M”. Think it takes off from there so the thought would be “diamond engagement rings have a long history”. Well, no they actually do not. Just stay with me you’ll see what I am saying here.
So, the 1700s roll around and they use things like silver poesy rings that are engraved with an ornate saying. (Europe) The Puritans give their betrothed a thimble but eventually they start cutting the top off and it’s worn as a ring.
Move along to the 1800s we start to see gemstones!! (Oh, good something shiny right?) Well, these lovely gemstones would spell out terms of endearment for their loved one…in human hair. Yep, that is right human hair. So, pretty and kinda’ creepy in my opinion but hey to each their own right? In 1867 diamonds are discovered in a place called the Cape Colony (it’s a province in South Africa) and this is when there is a giant increase in diamond supply. This drove down the cost of diamonds. So, shortly thereafter a man named Cecil Rhodes comes to South Africa and starts a company called…can anyone guess?? DeBeers Mining Company. A few short years later they own about 90% of the world’s diamond production.
1886 rolls around Tiffany & Co. (they had to come in at some point right? Who doesn’t know about the blue box??) and they create a six prong setting that shows of the diamond from all angles. Then affordable wedding rings and engagement rings start showing up in mail order catalogs.
Another big jewelry store most people know of creates a wedding ring that dun dun dun…is not with a gemstone at all. It is three different types of gold; pink gold, white gold and yellow gold. Each one means something different; love, friendship and fidelity. What jewelry store is it? Cartier and these rings are still very popular in France.
1920s comes and jewelry stores try to give the idea of men’s engagement rings which sinks faster than an anchor. This is around the time that DeBeer’s sees a noticeable decrease in diamond sales and decides they need to ramp everything up and make it even more “important” to have a diamond engagement ring. They hired a company to do a massive advertising campaign that promoted diamonds. They got actresses to wear diamonds out in public and fashion designers and the like discussing the “new trend” of diamonds. Then in 1947 Frances Gerety coined the line “A Diamond Is Forever” and the company put it on everything. One of the main ones you can find is “A Diamond Is Forever” with a picture of a young married couple on their honeymoon. From this point on diamond engagement rings became the norm.
Still with me? Now that we know how things transitioned for the diamond engagement ring, here is a question. Why was an engagement ring important? History shows us that A ring was significant it was an outward sign of your marital status and at some points an outward sign of ownership. So, when did two rings, an engagement AND a wedding band become necessary? Well, it became a sign that the man was financially ready and able to take on a wife. It was also a fall back for the woman. Here is why if it was found that the woman was not a virgin then a man could break their engagement and she would be a ruined woman of her own doing. Now if the woman has sex with her fiancé prior to marriage and then HE left ruining her in the public’s eye which actually did cause a lot of issues for the woman she was able to take legal action and receive 50% of his pay…because he took her virginity then “flew the coop”. Around 1947ish the courts stopped doing this so women then wanted something upfront from the man that if he broke the engagement they would be compensated for something. Now let’s look at today’s average woman. They tend to be well educated, pulling bigger salaries then men, completely stable on their own and if they are not a virgin they are not shunned by their community.
Why the long history lesson? Well, my husband and anyone that really knows me know that certain comments can get me on a soap box and I will go on and on until I am blue in the face and that is how this started. BUT I also want women to know you do not have to have a Diamond engagement ring or heck an engagement ring at all. Proposed on Friday married on Tuesday really do not have to unless you want to.
The quality of a man should not be measured by the “size of the rock”. The quality of a man should be measured by his actions, they way he treats you, your family, your friends and total strangers. I know of wonderful men that truly love their fiancé and they proposed with sapphires, rubies, claddaugh rings that became their wedding rings. Guess what? Those couples are very happy being them. They chose rings that show their style, their personality, their relationship and their world is not falling apart because they did not get a huge diamond.
Engagement rings yes are gorgeous but they are not for everyone and they do not have to be. If you do choose to have an engagement ring look at ALL your options not just diamonds.
Be you in all aspects of your life!!
